I think I've written about this before but it is a subject that constantly plagues me so pardon the redundancy.
I have always loved toys. When I was child we didn't have that many. In fact I remember only ever having one barbie doll and it wasn't even a barbie it was a skipper doll. My brothers fed it to the dog and afterwards the legs were all chewed off and I remember the white part showing so that it looked like her bones were sticking out.
I didn't ever have a doll house or a baby doll bed or dress up clothes; I specifically remember never having a "my little pony" because there was a group of girls who during lunch had a club that met under the trees by the big field and you had to have a pony to belong. I could never be a member because I didn't have one.
Now don't get me wrong my parents did everything in their power to give us toys, especially ones we wanted. But when we were young I was slightly conscious that they couldn't afford to get us that much so I didn't ask and tried to make things to play with instead of asking for premade toys. I made dollhouses out of cardboard, doll clothing out of my mothers scrap fabric from sewing and cars for our stuffies out of boxes.
I was the oldest girl in my family and my parents didn't have as much money when I was little as when my younger sisters were, so even though I was "too old" to play with barbies and dolls I would play with my younger sisters and try and make their play time as fun as it possibly could be.
When my daughters were born I could not stop myself. Granted Dan and I didn't have a lot of money but whatever we had was so much more than what my parents had that it seemed (and still does seem) like we were millionaires. We bought brand new toys for my eldest's first birthday. I really was like a kid in the candy store when we went to toys r us that first time. My eyes lit up as we carefully picked out each item and I will never forget the amazing feeling of bringing those toys to the register, paying for them and then taking them home.
Now I am a budget person by choice and a second hand connoisseur by nature. So those first few toys we bought brand new quickly became some of the only new toys I ever bought. I started going to yard sales religiously and shopped clearance and day after thanksgiving sales like a madwoman (not really but I was very diligent at trying).
I bought a beautiful play kitchen for my girls two years ago on clearance for $50 when it originally sold for $150. I bought dollhouses at yard sales for $10-$15 a piece that sold on ebay for $200 used. I bought princess dresses new and used and made several myself. All in all it started to add up to a lot of toys. My girls have so much, maybe a little too much but I am constantly downsizing or giving away when I upgrade to a toy that works more fluently in the scientific flow of toys I orchestrate for my children. I am beginning to have a perfect knowledge of which things should be bought new, which should be bought used and which things should never be bought in the first place.
I can never get away from the guilt though that plagues me for giving them so much. Yes they are spoiled. My second oldest daughter's third birthday was yesterday and I asked my sister on a scale of one to ten how spoiled my girls were. She said "Eleven" ;-) My mother is constantly commenting on how they don't need all of those toys and how ridiculous it is that I keep buying them for them. Now to be fair to me my house does have quite a few toys but it is not crowded with them and they all have a place to be put away.
It's not necessarily the guilt of overcrowding that bothers me it's the attachment to things that bothers me. I recently read a book "By some miracle not yet clear to me" written by a man from Uganda named Vincent Musaalo. He spoke of the homemade toys he had to play with and the horror of not knowing whether they would have enough food to eat.
Life is not special because of the things we have or don't have it's special because of our families and our service to other people. My husband lived for two years in Bolivia where families of four would live in a one room apartment. Having is not important, I know that from my humble beginnings. I loved my childhood even though I really did wish we had more.
And yet I do get intense joy from creating a fanciful world for my children to grow up in.
Yes I may buy them a few too many toys and insist on getting them the very cutest things at the cheapest price, but I do that so they will want to play instead of sitting around watching television or playing video games. We do not invest in gaming systems or cable TV (although we do buy movies because they are awesome to keep kids occupied while I exercise or clean). But I invest in inventive play instruments also known as toys.
Now it may sound a little like I am trying to convince myself it is OK to spoil my children far, far beyond what I had as a child....and in truth I am. When you are raised very unspoiled you gain character that is immeasurable in worth. Which brings me to why I wrote in the first place. For a combined birthday gift for both of my girls we got them this.
This playhouse is the only toy I have ever bought that is over $100. Yes my parents and sister went in on the gift but it was very expensive and although we can afford it I do feel like a rich person who has the luxury of spending money on a toy. (Have I mentioned that I have a unique bias against rich people due to my singular childhood) I call this syndrome "gifter's guilt". I feel bad that I have given my children something they will enjoy all summer long because it is just a thing.
My husband would rather spend that money on their college funds or their wedding funds or a host of other more worthy things. He is probably right, and yet those little girls will only be little once and I want them to enjoy every minute of it:-)
I have always loved toys. When I was child we didn't have that many. In fact I remember only ever having one barbie doll and it wasn't even a barbie it was a skipper doll. My brothers fed it to the dog and afterwards the legs were all chewed off and I remember the white part showing so that it looked like her bones were sticking out.
Now don't get me wrong my parents did everything in their power to give us toys, especially ones we wanted. But when we were young I was slightly conscious that they couldn't afford to get us that much so I didn't ask and tried to make things to play with instead of asking for premade toys. I made dollhouses out of cardboard, doll clothing out of my mothers scrap fabric from sewing and cars for our stuffies out of boxes.
I was the oldest girl in my family and my parents didn't have as much money when I was little as when my younger sisters were, so even though I was "too old" to play with barbies and dolls I would play with my younger sisters and try and make their play time as fun as it possibly could be.
When my daughters were born I could not stop myself. Granted Dan and I didn't have a lot of money but whatever we had was so much more than what my parents had that it seemed (and still does seem) like we were millionaires. We bought brand new toys for my eldest's first birthday. I really was like a kid in the candy store when we went to toys r us that first time. My eyes lit up as we carefully picked out each item and I will never forget the amazing feeling of bringing those toys to the register, paying for them and then taking them home.
Now I am a budget person by choice and a second hand connoisseur by nature. So those first few toys we bought brand new quickly became some of the only new toys I ever bought. I started going to yard sales religiously and shopped clearance and day after thanksgiving sales like a madwoman (not really but I was very diligent at trying).
I bought a beautiful play kitchen for my girls two years ago on clearance for $50 when it originally sold for $150. I bought dollhouses at yard sales for $10-$15 a piece that sold on ebay for $200 used. I bought princess dresses new and used and made several myself. All in all it started to add up to a lot of toys. My girls have so much, maybe a little too much but I am constantly downsizing or giving away when I upgrade to a toy that works more fluently in the scientific flow of toys I orchestrate for my children. I am beginning to have a perfect knowledge of which things should be bought new, which should be bought used and which things should never be bought in the first place.
Life is not special because of the things we have or don't have it's special because of our families and our service to other people. My husband lived for two years in Bolivia where families of four would live in a one room apartment. Having is not important, I know that from my humble beginnings. I loved my childhood even though I really did wish we had more.
And yet I do get intense joy from creating a fanciful world for my children to grow up in.
Yes I may buy them a few too many toys and insist on getting them the very cutest things at the cheapest price, but I do that so they will want to play instead of sitting around watching television or playing video games. We do not invest in gaming systems or cable TV (although we do buy movies because they are awesome to keep kids occupied while I exercise or clean). But I invest in inventive play instruments also known as toys.
My husband would rather spend that money on their college funds or their wedding funds or a host of other more worthy things. He is probably right, and yet those little girls will only be little once and I want them to enjoy every minute of it:-)
