Thursday, February 10, 2011

I....I...I....need to stop thinking about myself :-(

I want to exercise today...but I feel like if I do this baby will fall right out. Which wouldn't be a problem but I really want this baby to be full term and I just have to wait two more weeks then I'll be able to try and get him out!

I desperately do not want to gain another pound......seriously if they bump the scale up past a certain number next week at the dr's I will break into tears infront of an entire office of nurses and dr.s!

I'm anxious about driving carpool and hate it more than words can describe!

I'm worried that my valentines date won't go well with my husband, cause I don't feel pretty or skinny and blow up at the slightest provocation...it makes for a very volatile situation when I am alone with my sweetheart!

I'm ready to be skinny again...I'm ready to go running for an hour and feel the sweat drip off me and feel the ache in my muscles the next day!

I'm done cleaning out poop from my daughter's underwear/diapers....but if I give up now I will not only have wasted an entire month of potty training, but will not be able to afford the cost of having two children in diapers!

I'm tired of reading with my daughter (isn't that awful) ...but I am tired of reading 40-60 mins a day at the speed of a five year old just because she is competitive and wants to win this reading contest at her school (that she has no chance of winning because she is five)!

I drive myself crazy obsessing over all of the things that I can't do and want to do......

The cure....I need to stop thinking about what I want or feel I need and I'm trying to think of the others in my sweet family and my dear friends who are all needing support. I also need to think about my siblings and what they need. For example my brother's birthday is tomorrow and I almost forgot about it because I am so focused on having a pity party for myself.

36 wks...not all the way there yet, but at bare minimum I have two more weeks to spoil my sweet kids and husband and do things for others.

2 comments:

brigette said...

I think your an amazing mom and woman!! Your always helping others! I look up to you!!

Anonymous said...

You are always thinking of others. A pity party is good for the soul. It gets things up and out. Mom would say there is "there is a time and a season...." for everything else. Your time is almost up and the next season will be great!